Keep – Take the time to notice when a boundary is or isn’t being kept. If the boundary has been maintained, let them know that you appreciate it. If the boundary has been broken, we need to acknowledge this with the person. It may sometimes feel easier to ‘keep the peace’ by not bringing it up, but if we don’t challenge broken boundaries, we are less likely to see positive change and boundaries are unlikely to be effective in the future. If a boundary is broken, you need to respond appropriately and assertively.
Be realistic about what happened. Don’t make excuses for someone else’s behaviour. Take time to think of your response, try not to respond in the heat of the moment. Sometimes writing down or telling other people about your boundaries, and consequences if they are broken, can help you go through with the consequence. In reality, a boundary may need re-setting and modifying a number of times.
Remember, no-one has perfect boundaries and they take time to get right.