Ruth – My Carer Christmas.
It’s Christmas day and I’m looking out of the window at a bright winter sky. Indoors the heating’s on and there are Christmas songs on the radio. I’m stirring the dinner – soup and a tiny slice of bread, for someone who might not manage more than a few spoonfuls.
This Christmas, we won’t have turkey and trimmings. We won’t be woken up too early by excited children. We won’t pull crackers or pop outside to hear the carol singers. I won’t even have a festive drink – I have to be alert in case I’m needed.
I’ve wrapped a present for my aunt, but I’ll have to help her unwrap it. And there aren’t any gifts for me under the tree. ‘Happy Christmas! I said this morning. ‘Oh, is it Christmas today?’ she said. And then we did her medication, changed her pad, washed, dressed, brewed the morning cup of tea in a sippy-cup. I noticed the sheets aren’t 100% clean, but I’ll leave them till tomorrow – changing them is hard work for both of us and I don’t want to make her uncomfortable today.
She makes me feel blessed. My aunt’s a sweetheart, always glad to see me. She can’t always remember names but she loves looking at the family photos. Her face lit up when her grand-nephew rang this morning. She doesn’t get out of bed these days, but she enjoys watching the wind in the trees outside.
I don’t feel like a great carer and I get frustrated a lot – when she refuses to change into clean clothes, or she asks me the same question ten times, or the pad stinks and needs changing yet again. Or when the medication runs out and the pharmacy’s closed. And last week when the GP told me I’m amazing – why can’t he see I’m just an ordinary person trying my best?
I chose to be here at Christmas. There are paid carers who visit, and they’re wonderful, but the agency charges double on bank holidays. Mostly, I can’t bear the idea of leaving her on her own at this time of year. And if I was in her situation, I’d want someone I love to do the same for me.
Sometimes caring can feel lonely but we’re not alone. People still need help in the holidays, and there are so many people spending Christmas day like this.
I don’t live very near to my aunt. Usually when I visit I’m in a hurry because there are so many practical things to do. Today, after the morning routines I sat by her bed and we remembered some lovely Christmases. She’s a special person, and she loves me. So she’s my Christmas gift.
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