I’m a 57-year-old mum of three, and married.  I’m a full-time carer for my son, who has autism, and I support my husband. I’m not a person who gives up easily.

My husband and I dated in school, but we went our separate ways and he moved down south. 22 years later his name came up on the Friends Reunited website, and I saw he’d mentioned that he’d like to be in touch with me. For 2 years we had a long-distance relationship. Then he came to Leeds to visit a relative, and he never went back. I think there’s always been something there.

I knew he had a problem with alcohol, and when our youngest children were still very little things were really bad. He was getting support from Forward Leeds, which included family intervention. When that finished they put me in touch with Carers Leeds, and didn’t leave the room until I’d made the phone call.  They knew I wouldn’t have called otherwise – I didn’t see myself as a carer.

You think you can change them, help them, make them stop. You believe everything’s going to be alright.

I had sessions with a Carer Support Worker and at the beginning it was really tough to open up. It was challenging, mentally and emotionally. The Support Worker suggested strategies, but it took courage to act on them.  My husband and I had only been married a few months, and he went on a back-to-back bender. I made him move out. I didn’t want him to go, but I needed him to. The children and I needed our home to be our safe space.

You think you can change them, help them, make them stop. You believe everything’s going to be alright. I’ve learned so much about addiction. I didn’t realise that everything I was doing was enabling the addiction. The Support Worker was fantastic – he put up with a lot of tears. Without Carers Leeds, we wouldn’t be in the position we are now.

My husband’s been sober for 7 years. He has bad days and good days but he’s found work that he can do while managing his condition. One thing we do is run sweet stalls at events. It was his idea, and I’m glad to be involved. Now, we’re a team. We take things a day at a time – that works for us.

As a family we love road-trips. We drive to Dover and then take the ferry. I love visiting different places – we’ve been to Italy, Germany, Poland and Czech Republic. There’s so much to explore and find out about.

My top tip for other carers is: don’t be afraid to take difficult decisions. And don’t forget to look after yourself. I’ve just started a new course, doing wellbeing walks.

All of this has made me appreciate life more. As a carer, you spend so much time looking after someone else. Now, we make the most of life.